Funny Stories         BACK TO TOP

Hillary has two husbands.

Japan doesn't have a President. The top of the government is Prime Minister.
Mori is the current Prime Minister of Japan.
When he visited White House, his secretary taught him simple greeting words,
because he couldn't speak English like many Japanese people.

They were that "How are you?" "I'm fine thank you, and you?" "Me, too."
Unfortunately Mori made mistake How and Who.
He said, "Who are you?"
Clinton was surprised but he answered, "I'm Hillary's husband."
Mori didn't understand the meaning. So Mori said as the lecture "Me, too."

Strange foods

I brought some dried foods from Japan. They were octopus, squid and a
type of fish.
They are popular foods in Japan. We can easily buy them everywhere in Japan.
I was interested to know if American people ate them, how they ate them.
I tried offering them to my friends Barry and Vicki, and to Terry and
Sherry's family.
There were six people sampling the food.
First I tried dried squid. They said it was similar to beef jerky.
They fearfully ate a bit of it. They seemed surprised by its toughness.
They said, "Tempura of squid is better than this!"
Next they tried dried octopus. This was softer than the dried squid.
They cautiously ate a little bit. But they didn't say it tasted good.
The final tried was the dried fish which was horse mackerel.
It was baked with seasoning.
Terry said it was so-so. But Sherry suddenly ran to the kitchen to spit it out.
Barry brought something from another room and said, "The smell was the same
as this." It was tropical fish food.
I like the dried fish best, I think that because Japanese people eat sea food
from early childhood, we because used to the fishy smell and can enjoy
the good taste. But people in Ohio live far from the sea. So naturally they
cannot enjoy foods from the ocean become they are unaccustomed to the
accompanying smell.

I ate your cat.

Around my apartment there are many children who play here and there.
One day 3 girls knocked at my door, and they asked me, "Have you seen my
I wasn't able to understand their English because they spoke quickly.
I said to them, "Are you looking for a cat?" with Japanese pronunciation.
They laughed at my speaking.
Especially a girl who was called "Kari" was ornery.
She knocked frequently at my door, and she said, "Have you seen my cat?"
Then one day she came by my door again, and she said, "Have you seen my cat?"
I got a little angry, and I said, "Your cat? I ate your cat."
She was surprised with her whole body, and said, "Have you eaten my cat?"
Some days later Kari came by my door with 2 girls and said, "Did you eat
my cat?" I said, "Your cat tasted good. Do you have an extra cat?"
She suspected the smell because I was boiling chicken in my kitchen.
She said, "Can we look at your kitchen?" I let them in my kitchen.
Kari found my chopsticks, and she said, "Please use them." I showed them
to her. She said, "Please give them to me." I gave them some new chopsticks.
Lisa came in my apartment with Kari. She was polite. She looked at my album.
I gave them coasters with Japanese antique pictures.
They were very glad.
Some minutes later they came again with their pictures and some canned
fruit in a jar for a reward.
Maybe they will never trick me again because we are strange friends.

Calcium & Carbon

Sometimes the differences in culture between America and Japan make
funny stories.
I cooked tempura with shrimp for a party with my friends.
The shrimps were too small to take out of the shells. Therefore I cooked
them with the shells.
Usually in Japan, small shrimps are eaten with their shells.
Sometimes even crab with the shell is cooked in hot oil. The shell is easy
to crack. We eat it all because it is easily chewed.
The party began. Barry said, "There's a shell!" as soon as he ate the
tempura. I said, "It's no problem, because it's calcium."
Barry said, "No thanks for shells. We have milk for calcium."
I didn't know that they didn't eat small shells of shrimp.
We Japanese eat many small fish with the bones.
There are important foods which contain calcium.
Therefore, we often say to our children, "Eat small fish because the
calcium is important for your growing."
Several days later, when we enjoyed a campfire, they began something
It was called "S'more." They put a marshmallow on the fire.
Also I tried it. As soon as I put the marshmallow, it was burned black.
I ate it. I said, "This is carbon."
Barry said, "No problem. You even eat calcium." 

Nap make a trouble

One day, after the work I began cooking supper which was simple boiled
I put the chicken in water and soy sauce in a pot. I put it on a stove 
and turned it on.
I had to wait about 10 minutes, I left the kitchen and sat down on 
a sofa in the living room.
Soon I felt sleepy. I didn't know how much time had passed.
Suddenly I heard a loud beep in the dream. I woke up, but I was unable to
understand the situation because my consciousness was sleeping yet.
I needed a few seconds to understand the cause of the beep.
The beep was coming from a smoke alarm which was installed on the ceiling.
Dense smoke filled my apartment.
I was confused but soon I understood that the smoke was caused by the pot
in the kitchen. I removed the pot which was smoking intensely on the 
stove. Then I turned the burner off.
Next I tried to stop the beep. I took a battery out of the smoke alarm.
Then I opened all the windows and turned on all the ventilators.
If people saw my apartment, they would think it looked exactly like a fire.
Fortunately no other people were there and the smoke alarm wasn't connected
to the janitor's room.
I had to remain hungry for about an hour to clean up the scorched pot.
But if the smoke alarm weren't installed in my apartment, I would certainly
be a living smoked man.